white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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