Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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