If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
