So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
