He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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