Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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