At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This is classic penis vs brain.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
