it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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