is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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