How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize