that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
