We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
