yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
