hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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