What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
