I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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