Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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