What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
