Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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