Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
