This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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