i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
