What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
