This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
