i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
