I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
