i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
