you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
