Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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