I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
