butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think my vagina is haunted
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
