What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
