So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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