She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
