You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
