fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You are the jesus of drinking
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize