just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
