There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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