What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
