hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
