take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
