If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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