yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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