I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
