why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
