I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
