is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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