you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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