i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
