If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
