now i know why i became what i already was.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
