there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
