im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
3pm strippers are depressing
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
