He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
