I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
