I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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