omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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