walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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