Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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