I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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