I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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