Whod you bang
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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