Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
