somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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