so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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