At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
